a place to put random discourses on life
Published on July 8, 2005 By lifehappens In Home & Family
Every parent knows the feeling of pride, joy and love that is experienced when your child first says "mom' or "dad". It's more intense than anything else, a feeling so strong that it can bring tears to a grown man's eyes and warmth on the coldest day.

For the last few years, I have been the primary parent in my son's life. I was the first person he called when he was hurt or sad. He raced to show me the cool things he discovered. I was the one who he depended on for help and comfort.

When HW came home, I was still number 1 in my son's life. He loved his dad, but he turned to me first and foremost. Over the last few days, I realized that it's slowly been changing. I'm not so cool or important. My little boy wants to emulate his dad, to share everything with his "best buddy". HW is the biggest, strongest, coolest guy in the world to our son and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm just the mom.

I am gradually being shoved out of the "favorite parent" spot. (Not that I'm competing, I just can't think of a better way to describe it) When boy wakes up, he says, "Dad?....or mom?" He will look at me to ask for something and start out by saying "Dad said..." All day long, he reminds me that "Dad is at work, but he comes home to see me." "Dad has a GTO. It goes reawwy FAST!" "Dad's truck is big and fast....you should go fast."

I dont' begrude HW the love and attention. Every boy needs a dad and he lived without one for far too long. But that small glow of joy when my son runs up and hugs me is muted just a tiny bit when the first thing he asks is...."Where's Dad?""

Comments
on Jul 08, 2005

A boy never forgets his mother.  But let him have a dad!  I never did.  I am trying to make sure my boys do.  Girls share, and guys do as well.  It is a different sharing.  But is very important to a boys life.

He loves you not less, but more.  Soon, he will be out on his own.  That is the hardest part, but you will survive.  Because you have grandkids to look forward to!

on Jul 08, 2005
Life, from a mother's point of view, I've been in your shoe before. With all three of my kids. Most recently with my youngest. They do this and you're somehow jealous because all of a sudden you're not important anymore. You're not the first name they call when they need something, no not you, get daddy! My three year old told me once when she was going through that stage. It's a stage they all go through. I know dads deserve the attention too but moms will feel left out, just because!

My 3 year old is back to me being her favourite person again! But she picks and chooses who she will give her attention to!
on Jul 09, 2005
I'm not having a hard time sharing him....just watching him grow up. I don't feel left out or jealous or the love he has for HW. I just feel a little sad because I'm not so special to him anymore.
on Jul 12, 2005
I can feel your aching heart. For now I'm still the favorite of our little guy, I suppose only because he's still in that stage where he thrives on nurturing and cuddling, which are things that John just can't figure out how to do right without smothering the poor little boy or playing with him too roughly. I'd like to say I'll be tough enough to handle the day when Michael starts turning to John for everything...but I think I'll feel a pang in my heart. I love my little boy a lot.