I almost wish that I had just stayed put
In the moment of quiet before all hell breaks loose again, I am announcing my return to EverJoe. (If you don't get it, you can read past articles till you find the one where I explain...or you can just move on)
I spent 3 weeks with my in-laws because they wanted to see there granddaughter and because I had nothing worth keeping me here in Texas. It was a wonderful holiday. For the first time in my life, I truely felt like I was on a vacation. I didn't spend money or time doing crazy things. I just did NOTHING. I had no responsibilities, I had no agendas, I had nothing that needed to get done and noone expecting me to do it. I could relax. The only thing I had to do was cuddle my daughter. My son pretty much stayed out of trouble and entertained himself with his Christmas presents....(more on that later) so all i had to do was sit.
I would have tired of it eventually, I'm sure. But I didn't realize just how great it was. After a nightmare trip home, where I almost went to South America instead of Austin....(YIKES!)...I realized that home is just a bunch of stress. the closer I got to home, the more I wanted to sit down and cry. I wanted to go back to Colorado. After I got the pair of overtired and stessed kids to calm down I made list of just some of the tings that I need to accomplish in the next few days. Individually nothing is very difficult or probematic, but combined? Well, that is enough to overwhelm me just hinking about it.
I think that if the quiet continues for a few more moments, I will make a new list. A list of things that I am NOT going to do. Things that I will say no to. I didn't realize how much I needed a break until I came back to my crazy life.
I am not going to teach yoga at the Temple gym.(as soon as I call my boss)
I am not going to agree to do massages at the last minute.(Except for the one I already promised to do tomorrow)
I am not going to be the Cub Scouts Commitee Chairman. (After I finish rechartering)
Okay. I really wish this list was longer and full of fewer conditions. I still have a million things to do and most of them cannot be delegated or put on my other list. For example just a few items.... Find out why my garage door won't work. Make doctor apts for kids. Clean house. Put away christmas tree. Return the 8 phone calls that deserve it (I'm ignoring the 27 that don't make the cut) Tell my mom that I don't want to talk to her. (that will take a bit of motivation....it's just too much work) Find out why the Army took $1200 away from us. Pay bills. Buy food.
Unfortunately, the list is so long that even going to the store for milk seems overwhelming. Plus the thought of trying to do this on no sleep and with two children makes me want to .... well, it doesnt' make me want to do anything. It's too exhausting.
On the plus side, I did find HW's Truck keys so I dont' have to figure out how to get a key made without an original....but now I think about the fact that I have to get spare copies made of all the keys and LABEL them so I won't ahve that problem again. Sigh. At least I can put that one off till I feel stable again.
I'm just glad that I really didn't make any new New Year's resolutions. I'm just hanging on to the ones that I use every year. Lose 20lbs, get to the end of my to-do list so I can try to do the things on my "I want to try...." list. (Try sewing, canning, learning new yoga pose)