Dogs, husbands and mean people.
I have been avoiding this issue for a while now. i didn't want to blog about it because i knew that my husband would read my blog and I didn't want to make this any harder on either of us than it already was.
I asked him if I could get rid of our dog. He doesn't want to have me do that. He loves Lady. (I do too.) But for various reasons, I have finally come to the point where I cannot deal with this dog anymore. yet, I know he loves the dog and this is hard for him to deal with and then I feel guilty for hurting him and then frustrated because I do like this dog too. And this storm of emotions has escalated in my mind to the point where I don't know what I want anymore.
What I do know is this. Lady tears up the backyard. She runs in circles, tearing up the grass in the process. This isn't because she is a bad dog. She jsut needs exercise. The vet said that if I woudl run with her, she would not destroy the yard. The problem isn't that she kills grass, it's that when it rains our yard turns into a lake and then never dries up. The mud is thick and nasty and lingers for at least 2 or 3 weeks after my friends yards are dry. I wouldn't care if I didn't have a 2 year old who wants to play outside, but because of the mud, is limited in how often he can go out. And if I have to choose between my kid playing outside or having a dog....I choose a kid-friendly backyard. Not very much guilt there, but there is a bit.
And I do like this dog. Lady is sweet and gentle. She has always proven to be good with children and fairly smart. Yes, she barks at lightning, but she is really well behaved. And for that reason....I feel guilty. I feel guilty that she sits alone in the backyard for the majority of the time. She isn't allowed in the house anymore....remmeber the mud? i have two kids and I can't keep the muddly dog inside. So I feel guilty that she is banished to the yard. I feel even worse when it gets cold. She hates being in a doghouse so she just hangs out in all kinds of miserable weather....and it is getting colder. I feel guilty for not taking care of her the way she should be cared for.
So I talked to HW and even though he isn't happpy, he allowed me to find her another home. One with space to run and play, with a family (hopefully kids) who will love her. I posted a bio on a "Pet Rescue Site". I talked up her good qualities and explained that she is not being left because she is a bad dog, but because I can't take care of her anymore because our house was too small. This was in the hope that someone would realize that I'm not trying to saddle them with a dangerous animal and instead trying to find a home for a loved pet.
I had a woman (Denise at [moderator removed- please do not post other people's email addresses without their consent] ) email me the following.
So in another 4 years ar you going to throw out a kid to make room for more? Try planning, Dont get more than you plan to keep and care for , that is being piggy. If everyone got dogs when they were cute and little and threw them out when it wasnt convienent we would have a worl full of selfish people like you and more old dogs at the pound. You signed up for dog ownership, it is a lifespan commitment not a convienient pastime untill you decide to overpopulate our world with more humans than you can fit in your house.
I was so pissed off. Here I am trying to do the right thing and not just have my dog put to sleep and she thinks she can beligerently tell me that I am irresponsible and overpopulating the world? I did plan my kids, I didn't plan on 2 years of back to back separations where I would have no support and I didn't plan on the dog. She was rescued from potentially being left at the pound. I would like to think that while yes, this is a selfish descision on my part, I am being unselfish in my choice to find her a home and not abandon her. I'm still pissed. How dare someone judge me for something they have no idea about?!?
I have enough guilt for what I am doing already. Why would anyone think they have the right to say something spiteful and mean? I am sorry that I made this choice and I question it occasionally, but then I realize that this is what needs to happen for me to stay sane. I can't handle three kids and a dog is just as much work as a child. I feel horrible that my husband and son are losing the pet they love so much. I feel bad when I see my dog outside in the cold. I AM TRYING TO FIX THIS DAMNIT SO GET OFF MY BACK!
[Rant off]
That all being said. Does anyone want a border collie? She need a home with less guilt.