Maybe it's not such a bad idea
I'm thinking of skipping Christmas.
Not completely, I do have a tree up with lights on, no decorations though. I have a nativity set up too. But that's it. I think I am done.
I dont' want to decorate the tree. I don't want to wrap presents. I dont' want to mail out the dozens of cards that I hand-made and even pre-addressed and stamped. I don't want to hang stockings or give gifts. I don't want to hear Christmas music or make cookies for my neighbors. I just dont' want to do it this year.
But here is my predicament. I have a 2 1/2 year old son. That's right. He is old enough to get excited about unwrapping presents and Santa and everything else. But he isn't old enough to remember if I don't bother with it this year. So would it be so bad to just skip it all?
He already got his big gift before Matt left. (an electric train which he LOVES) So do I really need to go through all the hassle when he won't remember it and his Dad won't be here?
For those who dont' know, I am a compulsive scrapbooker. But when my husband came home, he didnt' want to look at the pages I made...why? Because it just reminded him of all the stuff he had been missing. It broke my heart to see the look on his face as his closed the book and put it down. All he said was, 'I'll look at it later." I felt like such a heel. Here I was, all excited about the stuff I made and all it did was cause him pain. I never did scrapbook Connor's first Christmas because I was so miserable without Matt here. It took months before I even started to feel like doing anything. So why force the issue this year?
The worst part of this whole thing? Christmas is my favorite season. I usually have the house decorated the day after Thanksgiving and dont' take anything down until the first weekend after New Years. I have 6 huge boxes full of decorations and ornaments. I own literally dozens of Christmas CDs. I love everything about the holidays...both religious and secular. I can't just do this small. But I just dont' see the point this year. I don't feel like celebrating. I have no family nearby to visit.
Matt helped set up the tree before he left so I wouldn't have to bring the box down from the attic alone (it's a big heavy box) and then he put the rest of the boxes in the garage for me. I can't just say it's too much work...the hard part is already done.
So I want your thoughts on this. Is it better to guilt myself into putting on Christmas for my son or better to feel guilty for blowing the whole thing off?"