a place to put random discourses on life
Babysitting Nightmares.....
Published on October 24, 2004 By lifehappens In Blogging
A little background to start off.....

This last weekend, I decided to go out and enjoy myself before I have another child to bring along. My friends and I are avid (read hopelessly addicted) scrapbookers. We stayed up all night on Friday, eating chocolote and scrapping. It was lots of fun, mildly productive and a good way to spend a Friday without my husband. I think I made it home by 0230... This really has nothing to do with the article....I just had fun and figured I would throw it in here before I got to the stress...

So here is the real scoop....
I had already made plans to go to a crop (scrapbooking group sponsored by a store) on Saturday night. I asked my friend from Friday night to go with me....and since she was going, I asked her 14 year old daughter to watch my son. It made my life easier because I wouldn't have to take her home, she could just catch a ride with her mom....
She called her mom to complain that there was no food. (this is 9 at night, shouldn't she have had dinner at home before?) I told her where Ramen Noodles were and told her she could grab popcorn or popsicles/chocolote out of the freezer... At 1030 she called again, "i don't feel good" Her mom told her to just lay on the couch and rest.

When I arrived at home, I was mildly irritated.
1) I had just paid this kid $2.00 an hour to sit and watch TV and trash my house. In her defense, I realize my house was already a disaster (remember I was gone till early Sat? I didn't get any cleaning done that day) I would have paid extra if she had cleaned but she left half eaten food in the sink....yuck.
2) I am looking in on my son and checking around the house and finding literally dozens of candy wrappers......she ate over half a bag of my halloween candy I was going to pass out, and 1/3 of a bag of my "secret stash" (leaving me with 2 mini peanut butter cups till payday....grrrr) No wonder she was sick!!!
3) Apparently she spent all night on the computer becasue I found out after she went home that my son had left the house...ALONE!!! before she discovered him. The only room where you can't see him/the front door is the back computer room. He had to unlock 3 locks and go through a storm door (also locked) to get out. He won't go out the front door when I am home unless I go outside. My neighbor said he was looking for me.....so HOW long was he wandering around the house being ignored before he went outside?!?
4)I throw away the garbage and find that she has dumped food/garbage/dirty diaper into the trash can with no bag. Maybe she didn't think to look under the sink for a bag, so I can write that off, but she threw away UNOPENED packages of Easy Mac. What was she doing? She made mac and cheese with double cheese, decided she didn't like it and threw the rest of the packages away, wasting the food. That drives me nuts mostly because I dont' normally buy convienience food and I hate to waste it, expecially because it is so expensive!
5)Later, I log onto the computer and realize she changed my settings so she could talk to friends on chatrooms. I can't even log on to IM my husband until I spend 15 min figuring out what she changed....I'm not a big computer whiz so this was a big pain in the neck for me.

So, when her mom called me later, I mentioned that "no wonder she was sick.....she ate almost an entire bag of chocolote". I know that it probably wasnt' the best way to say it, but I was a little irritated, especially after #3....I tried not to get irritated, but I just paid this kid $2/hour to ignore my child and eat junk food, talk on chatrooms and leave garbage everywhere.

I am overly sensitive? Is this expected when you have a sitter? I never would have done that as a child....But I'm wondering if I just ruined a friendship over a stupid incident. This woman is very protective of her kids....NOBODY can criticize them and I tried to smooth things over, but *sigh* She is the type to hold onto grudges.

I'm sure someone will say, "You don't need to worry about it; friendships like that aren't worth worrying about." But we are a tight knit group....the last time she got mad it really threw everything out of whack and stressed out the other friendships.....you couldn't invite her and the other person to the same thing, so SOMEONE was left out and offended.....it just got too stressful. So I tried my best to smooth it over, but am I wrong here? I'd like to hear opinions from those who have dealt with teenage babysitters....and parents...

I think this just makes me want to stick with other adults as babysitters.......

Comments
on Oct 24, 2004

No, you're not overly sensitive.  She was irresponsible...she's getting paid to look after your son, not to eat your food and chat.  The fact that he got out of the house without her noticing implies that she wasn't doing a very good job. 

I'm so glad that my eldest is responsible enough to sit for her brothers now!

on Oct 24, 2004
Thanks, I was really starting to wonder if I was overreacting. It's nice to have feedback....sometimes I wonder if I build up problems in my own mind till they overshadow reality.
on Oct 24, 2004

sometimes I wonder if I build up problems in my own mind till they overshadow reality.


Not this time, sister! I used to have a habit of doing the same thing, btw...


She treated you, your home, and your child with disrespect, period. 


I'm going to show this to my daughter as an example of how NOT to act when you're babysitting someone else's child....


 

on Oct 24, 2004
too bad you live so far away....I really need a good sitter.
on Oct 24, 2004
Wow. That's REALLY bad. EVEN IF you ignore the other stuff (and you shouldn't have to!), this little brat put your child's life in danger, and that's some serious stuff. Did you say anything to her? If she's old enough to be offering her services as a babysitter, she is old enough to be sat down have the possible consequences of her actions explained to her. You need to rip the child a new one. Her mom will get over it.

This is why I never let anyone babysit my kids. It is an inconvenience and it sucks to never get a break and have them with me 24/7, but I don't trust anyone to care for my children.

Bless your heart, lifehappens . . . you don't need this crap.
on Oct 24, 2004
Yeah, well.....I hesitate to make a big deal about it because of her mom. I feel as though my only recourse is to never hire her again. I am not sure I want to open the can of worms that will result in a pissed off mom.

Her mom knows what happened and that I was not happy. I was treated as though I was the one in the wrong because I was "picking" on her daughter. I don't want to deal with the backlash that will happen if the group starts "taking sides" in this. Obviously she feels that I was blowing it out of proportion.......and she is a type A personality who will make sure her opinion is the heard the most. It gives me a headache just to think of it. So I will do what I always do, hope she gets over the insult to her daughter's honor and try to avoid her as I spend time with my other friends.
on Oct 25, 2004
I understand your hesitation, but if you're going to avoid her for a while any way, you might as well say something. Maybe think it out, or write it out so you can make it sound as non-threatening as possible, but this girl and her mom need to know that what she did was wrong. So many of the "bad" kids I have seen have parents who believe their children can do no wrong. This 14 yr. old may not be anywhere near that level, but with that kind of protection as an umbrella, there's no telling what could happen.

Whatever you decide, good luck.