a place to put random discourses on life
Feeling kinda blue-sy
Published on June 14, 2007 By lifehappens In Blogging
So tonight was the last day that Trapeze-experience was going to be in Austin. I was signed up for the very last class at 7 pm. A friend of mine was bringing a friend from out of town with us to fly as well.

We all loaded into her little bitty car. The kids and I crammed into the back seat. For those who don't know or don't' remember, I was in a fairly serious car wreck about a year ago. My back still spasms and aches if I am in a car too long.

A tiny back seat is NOT the best way to travel. Especially next to a wiggly boy or (as I tried on the return trip) a overly large car seat. I'm not feeling so hot right now. I hear drugs and clean sheets calling my name, but I'll finish my whine before I leave.

We were about 1/4 mile from the site and the sky opened. Pouring rain in buckets. Lightning strikes VERY nearby. I could feel a sinking in my gut....there was no class. There was no possible chance.

Not only that, but I was STARVING. After another hour of fighting rush hour, in the flash flood quality rain, we arrived at an overpriced sit down restaurant. My kids were antsy because of being cooped up in the car with no relief and everything on the meal was more than I really wanted to pay. At least I was prepared with food for them. I hate paying for food that I know they won't eat. sigh. It wasn't bad but I am hyper sensitive to how noisy my kids are...especially in a quiet, subdued restaurant (La Madeleine) with small groups whispering or lone diners reading....

I just feel out of whack. I am in a different classification of friends. The girl from out of town is newly single, no kids. My friend is married, geobacholorette and no kids. And there I am....constantly shushing my kids, worrying about them bothering other people....feeling my patience shorten more and more.

I'm feeling at the end of my rope. It probably has more to do with the fact that I was in a car, anxious about driving in the rain, stressed about my kids and being at arms length for 6 hours non-stop, than it did with the whole let down about not getting to fly.

My back hurts. I am sore and tired. I am physically tired, which is one reason I decided to be the 3rd wheel on the drive down. I know I would be too tired to drive safely home. But I'm also tired of my kids.

That's right. I said it. I'm getting burnt out. I'm tired of my adorable, fantastic, amazing kids. Yeah, 99% of the time they make me happy. But they are a drain on my brain power and my ability to relax. the 1 % of the time when they are being obnoxious, I can feel my lifespan shortening. I can feel my patience disappear. I admit it. I can't stand a whiny kid (I don't count, I'm an adult). My 2 1/2 year old whines and cries EVERY SINGLE time she gets told no. EVERY SINGLE time she doesn't get her way. She has a low grade, whimpery whine that makes me want to have her vocal cords removed. I can't stand to be anywhere near her when she does that.....and NOTHING makes her stop. I tried the love but firm route, the distraction, the threats etc etc. My ONLY solution is to remove myself so I don't lose what little patience I have left and smack her.

Boy is almost as frustrating with his sound effects. Imagine the most annoying sound. Now listen to it ALL DAY LONG. Even when I remind him that sound effects are ONLY in his room, he forgets. Suddenly, in church or in a quiet restaurant, NEEEERRRRRRRWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *breathe*

I wish I could let go and let someone else worry for a while. I want to run away for just a bit. The problem is, even when I am not actually physically with them, I worry. I have to watch the clock like a hawk at the gym or I get yelled at for leaving them 5 min over my allotted time. i have to worry about the reports the come back when I pick them up from a play date etc etc. There is no relief. I can't sleep in or take a bath without a kid trying to join me. I have a million things to do. A house to clean, repair projects to finish, clients, church and work schedules to juggle, taxes to file, papers to track down, people to deal with, lawns to mow, cars and houses to fix. I have to worry about staying in the top ten here too.

I do love my kids. I just need to not be in charge for a few minutes. I need to be able to lean into the arms of a strong guy and have him whisper in my ear how much he loves me. I need him to hold me and tell me that it will be okay, that I don't' have to worry about it anymore. I need to have him kiss me and squeeze me and help me let go. But it's a long time till he will be here. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Comments
on Jun 15, 2007
You need a babysitter. It's just so hard to find someone who loves your kids enough, and knows enough about kids, to leave them without worrying. We're lucky, we have someone like that. We can actually relax when we're out and she has them. But I still know how that feels, where everything they do becomes annoying. It's a product of being together for so long. A break can recharge you, but not if you spend the break worrying, you know?
on Jun 15, 2007
I'm sorry that you had to miss out on your last flying opportunity.......we can hope that you find another outlet for that soon. As for the other, I truly do hope you are able to have some kind of a break, some Mommy time soon, and I do know that's difficult and precious.

I just feel out of whack. I am in a different classification of friends


I understand this very well right now, just from the opposite end of the spectrum. I still have not met anyone here without children, and as much as I try to empathize, there's a distinct line between myself and the other spouses around me. I wish you the best
on Jun 15, 2007
Oh D!! I know this is crazy, but I've been thinking of inviting you over...plus, I think we're in the same friendship classification. We're both military wives with two young children, we go to the same church, you turned me on to trapezing. We sound pretty similar, but you're the braver one!

Baltmore has permanent trapeze classes just 30 minutes away from where I live, 5 days a week through August! For only $40-$50 / two-hour session!

Warning: I don't live a very normal life (I vegetate and daydream a lot), we don't have much room in our li'l home, but who cares? Maybe we could bear each other's burdens for a little while...kids could play with each other. I dunno, just a thought?
on Jun 15, 2007
h gosh, would it be trolling if I saved you the trouble of going to my blog, I could just post it here...?


You just made my day. Thanks for cheering me up! *BIG Grin!*

You need a babysitter. It's just so hard to find someone who loves your kids enough, and knows enough about kids, to leave them without worrying.


That I can actually afford....
I wish you the best

Thanks
on Jun 15, 2007
Oh, affordability... again, lucky there... she's like a grandma to my kids, and a mom to me and my wife... so, free babysitter who adores Kayden and everytime we thank her she says "Are you kidding? Anytime!" Ah... yeah, find someone like that!
on Jun 15, 2007
You may be tired but you sure have a great sense of humor.
on Jun 16, 2007
You may be tired but you sure have a great sense of humor.


Well, thank you. Sometimes I am so stressed out and but I still try to laugh before I cry. Reductio ad absurdum and all.
on Jun 16, 2007
Taking care of kids just wears you out. They always need something. Constantly. Every minute. They're demanding little creatures, aren't they. Get your own juice, kid. But I don't feel like changing another stinky diaper. Ugh. I know, I've been there.

Try not to stress too much about the kids when you go out. They're just kids. Any other parent knows what it's like. The childless are a whole different story. Do you want to know about horrifying, one time I took my son to the store and he kept saying "butt hole" the whole time, loudly. I wanted to die. He must have seen how mortified I was and thought it was funny. He was lucky to survive that, I was ready to pinch his head off. Why can't they just come with an on/off switch?

I don't know what's available where you live but I had to find some regular outlet for a little me time to get through deployments. One deployment I joined the Y. I would take the boys to the daycare and do a class which was on site so I didn't worry so much, then I would take them to the pool and it helped me stay sane. I took a quilting class another deployment and had a friend who was a certified daycare provider watch my son. It helped that we already knew and liked her. If I wasn't taking a class, I wouldn't have gotten a babysitter once a week. Once I paid for the class and made the commitment, I would go.

Hang in there, chica.
on Jun 16, 2007
Get your own juice, kid.

EXACTLY!

Do you want to know about horrifying, one time I took my son to the store and he kept saying "butt hole" the whole time, loudly. I wanted to die.

That is so horrifyingly funny...

He was lucky to survive that, I was ready to pinch his head off.

Once again, I know what you mean....I'm going to use that threat..

Why can't they just come with an on/off switch?

let me know if you find one

If I wasn't taking a class, I wouldn't have gotten a babysitter once a week. Once I paid for the class and made the commitment, I would go.

That is the problem. 1-I feel guilty when I spend money on me. I'm supposed to be paying off the big expensive addition that my DH let me build. and I keep spending money on stuff like gas to drive to Austin.
on Jun 16, 2007
I want to share wisdom that my Grandma shared with me...in the Bible there are numerous references to events starting with, "It came to pass...it came to pass...it came to pass...no where in there does it say, "It came to stay..."

I would gladly provide a hug or two until the Wanderer returns...but you're so far away. Cheer up, Lovey, we love you and everything will be ok.