a place to put random discourses on life
(Um that would be me....)
Published on May 21, 2007 By lifehappens In Blogging
So I teach my kids about strangers and all the typical warnings that accompany the lecture.

I never thought of myself as a stranger though.

On the way to school, I spy a kid I see all the time. He's probably 1st grade at most and usually walks with his brother. He is sitting alone, on the corner, crying his eyes out. I don't see his brother anywhere and this kid is too young to just be out alone. I stop the car (blocking traffic) and go up to see if he is okay. He starts crying about how his head got hurt and some kid hit him with a rock. I told him we are only a block from the crossing guard and we should go to school. I start to help him up but the moment my fingers touch him, he cringes and gets a wild look in his eyes. He panics so I back away and point to the school, reminding him that the crossing guard is right there and he should go get her. He took off running.

Holey moley. I am the stranger. In his eyes, I'm the creepy person who might kidnap him.

I stopped at the crossing guard and told her that a boy was hurt and she walked over to meet him. I dropped the kids off and stopped to talk to her again on the way home. He REALLY did think I was a kidnapper who was going to snatch him. Fortunately, she knows me. Even though I've never thought of myself as a stranger, I'm glad they had the common sense to run for the crossing guard. I *could* have been a creep.

Random note and question for the JU crowd: I've always told my son that if he is lost and can't find me, then he needs to find a mom with a baby. I figure that's *probably* the safest person to look for. I used to tell them to look for someone in uniform, but that's not easy for a kid to distinguish. Walmart is full of people in varied uniforms....not everyone works there and as for the ones that DO work there, a uniform doens't guarentee sanity or safety. What do you think? What do you tell (or plan to tell) your kids?

Comments
on May 21, 2007

All things being equal, I think a mother with a child is the safest.  Sad really, but a good suggestion. (not sad for Mother and child - sad that we have to go that far to find a safe person).

I am glad you realized his fear of you and recognized it for what it was.  You did the right thing.

on May 21, 2007
weird feeling being seen as a possible "baddie"huh?

Well done on going to his aid and pointing him out to the crossing guard. He won't be a statistic.

According to my late Gran there used to be a day when you could tell your kid it was safe just to find an adult.
on May 21, 2007
As a parent... it's hard to find the "right thing to do" or tell your child in that scenario. I remember being told to run to a neighbor's house, and tell them someone is trying to get me. These days you can't say that anymore. 1 thing I have told my son, as I was in a similar situation when I was in highschool... go back to the place you left..if you can, but mainly go the opposite direction the stranger is facing.

In my case I was walking home from school with a friend. A guy stopped us on the side of the road. My instinct was to turn around and go back to school. My friend's was to keep walking home. I said "no, because he can easily pull in that driveway there, he can't turn in the middle of a busy road". We started back to school, and the guy took off. Meanwhile a neighbor from our neighborhood saw the whole thing, got his plate #, and offered to take us home. Since we knew her, we had her take us home. We told our parents what happened, and my dad filed a police report. Cops did call him and "scare him".

Right now, I tell him to SCREAM... NO. If we're in a store, to go to the person wearing the store uniform. At Disney, I told him to go to a Disney employee (ie, in Disney uniform). At school, go to school teacher or principal. Thankfully his bus stop is 2 houses down, and right in front of his friend's house. So I don't have to worry about him walking to school right now.

As for a woman with child... that's not always the safest bet, because they are also strangers... and just because they have a child, doesn't mean they are a good person. On the other hand... how many "bad woman with kids" will you see? It's really a tough situation.
on May 21, 2007
A few weeks ago I had some little girls repeatedly ring my doorbell and giggle (they were both about 5). The first time I asked if they needed anything and they said no and stood there giggling, so I told them to go home.

The second time I told them I AM A STRANGER. YOU DO NOT KNOW ME. And they ran away playfully screaming.

The third time they ran off before I got to the door so I went to their house and sorted things out with the mom (one girl was a friend visiting). (I told them, in front of her, that they were too young to be "out" alone and if I saw them again without their mommy I would call the MPs)

It always feels weird to not be trusted (I offered a girl a ride home from school when she was walking in the pouring rain and she declined; I later thought about it and realized I might have actually scared her or made her feel worried), but you also have to feel proud of those kids who don't just go along with you, too.

I agree with the screaming thing. I've told my kids to do that. Draw attention to themselves and get away.
on May 22, 2007
ya done good, kid.l