a place to put random discourses on life
Published on July 18, 2006 By lifehappens In Humor
Deep thoughts for those who take life too seriously:

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like . . . night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

15. Okay . . so what's the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death.........twice?

22. If you can't repair your brakes, so make your horn louder.

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened?

25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


Comments
on Jul 18, 2006

#19 is the best!

hahahah.

Thanks for the wisdom.

on Jul 18, 2006
I like #25 but they"re all good
on Jul 18, 2006

26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

YUP!  Take my Boss.  Please!

on Jul 18, 2006

Number 7!  I always suspected there was a good reason I laffed last.....

Number 8!  I never learn......

Number 11!  this is what aging does to ya

thanks!  good laffs here

on Jul 18, 2006
Glad ya'll enjoyed them! Feel free to add your own bits o' wisdom.....
on Jul 18, 2006


If every cloud has a silver lining how do the damn things stay up there?
on Jul 19, 2006
You're traveling at the speed of light and you turn on your headlights - does anything happen?