Memorial for a Fallen Soldier

Published on April 23, 2006 By lifehappens In Current Events

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So tonight was the memorial for my friend's husband. Just seeing the picture of him and his son made me start crying all over again.
The service was focused of the joy of Ian's salvation and happy memories of times with him. Even so, as I looked across the VERY crowded church, I could see the grief of his family. Wendy was shaking as she tried to hold in her emotions and seeing that made me realize that my mourning is not for him as much as it is for her. My pain was from empathizing with her.

She had been gardening when the cars pulled up. She knew what had happened before they had to tell her. Every military wife has that fear hidden deep inside. The fear of seeing the car pull up and the soldier step out with horrible news. I've had that dream, I know the fear.....but I always wake up. The grief that doesn't go away and just builds, well. I've never felt that. I can imagine that it's worse than anything I've had to deal with. And my heart breaks when I think of the pain she is in.

Turns out that she married a man who is just as kind and wonderful as she is. He sounds like the guy you hope your daughter marries one day. They mentioned that they were collecting letters about him and photos so that as their baby boy grows up, he knows what kind of dad he had.

I hope no one else I know has to suffer through this, but as the pastor said, " Death has pretty good odds. Theres a 100% chance you'll die one day. The question isn't when, but will you be ready?" Her church is very vocal with encouraging those around them to come unto Christ. That knowlege that there is more than just this earthly existence brings her immense comfort. I hope that nobody else has to endure the pain of loss, but it's inevitable. sigh. I guess it's true. If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it. I won't slam you will my religious beliefs, but I do believe that faith is a powerful comfort and I hope you have it.

The hardest part for me was during the military honors. Roll call-rifle volley and Taps. As prior service, I stood at attention with many others. But I dont' know what it is about roll call and the rifle shots that is so hard. It carries a weight with it that isn't matched by anything else. The soldiers in and out of the honor guard were impecable and honored the his memory and the family. (thanks Chiprj for your service, it means a lot to the families)

The funeral will be held at Arlington and I'm sure that will be another great burden, but I'm praying that she will have the strength to make it through.

Comments

Dr Guy

on Apr 24, 2006

My pain was from empathizing with her.

We often dont stop and think, but the truth is that is always the case. Our pain is for the ones left behind.

Great tribute.

Locamama

on Apr 24, 2006

It is so much harder when you put a face on the deaths in Iraq. We tend to just hear the numbers and not think about the families left behind. It just breaks my heart for his wife and his son.

Tova7

on Apr 24, 2006

Thanks for sharing those photos. I love the second one, and the words with it. How awesome is that? Such a good idea.

lifehappens

on Apr 25, 2006

It is so much harder when you put a face on the deaths in Iraq

Definetely. The two photos that I posted here were being shown on a large screen as I walked in and just hte sight of them broke my heart.

Thanks for sharing those photos. I love the second one, and the words with it. How awesome is that? Such a good idea

That's a scanned image of the Memorial Service. I thought so too, which is why I stuck it up here.

AngelaMarie88

on Apr 27, 2006

Beautifully written, D. I've got this aching in my head from trying to hold back the tears.

What a beautiful sentiment on the memorial service program: a picture of him holding his son, likening it to his Father in Heaven welcoming him into his arms. What a beautiful image, and how reassuringly true.

ParaTed2k

on Apr 29, 2006

Heartwarming and wonderful tribute to your friend and our hero.

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