I hate housework.
This is not to say I dislike it.
I really HATE cleaning. Toilets, tubs, floors, laundry. blech. I hate feeling like a maid. I hate feeling like I'm the only one who cleans up or does the distateful jobs around the house.
I also hate to live in a pigsty. I love when my home is clean and sparkling. I like to relax in a well organized home where things are put away and I can have people stop by without fear of embarassment.
These two attitudes don't mesh well. I have found myself bitter and angry towards my husband and his lack of help around the house. I felt the pressure of life on me and I hated it. I was cranky and grumpy.
So I decided that things HAD to change. Oh, I've tried to be positive about housework before and it degenerated into crankiness the first time something I cleaned got messed up again. I've worked on being organized, but my expansive efforts yeilded little progress.
So I decided to hire a maid. I have someone how will come in every other week and clean. She will do the ceiling fans and the baseboards, mop the floors and sanitize the toilets. All the things I hate are now taken care of. (at least twice a month) To afford this extravagant measure, I had to pick up a new client for personal training, but I think it's a fair tradeoff.
To my surprise, or maybe not so much. ..my pennypinching side came out again. I am not paying this woman to do the things that I can do or will do. i want to get the max value for her time here. So I started getting things picked up and put away. I wasn't cleaning, mind you. I was simply straightening up so she could do the dirty work.
Durring the two weeks I waited till her arrival, I got my house picked up. It looked clean (at first glance anyway) because there wasn't a bunch of junk everywhere. I wans't stressing out about the grimy bookshelves and the smeared windows, because someone was comeing to do that. I didn't stress about the icky toilets or the ring around the tub. Someone would do it for me. I could focus on everything else.
So instead of my old habit, which was to clean one area top to bottom by moving everything out of that room and messing up the rest of the house, I learned to do the big stuff first, before focusing on the detail work. And it's working! My house is clean!
The lady came and she and her asistant scrubbed the house top to bottom. They didn't get everything, but the things they didn't do (the tops of the ledge around the doors) they will get next week when the come again. I have managed to keep it clean too. It's easier to maintain than get there.
I also found a website. Flylady.com AMAZING. I'm finding that I can get the house clean much faster than I thought. by learning to relax on the details, I can clean everything every week. then I can focus on just one or 2 places in detail AFTER I get the basics down.
So anyway, on Flylady I picke dup a few quotes to hclp me change my attitude about the daily cleaning. She refers to the weekly cleaning as "Home Blessing Hour". Simply by refering to cleaning as blessing my family and home, I have changed my attitude from drudgery to service. And that makes a huge difference. She also recomends doing what you can for 10 min and then moving on. If you don't finish? Do it next time. So, I can spend 10 minutes cleaning windows and 10 more moping floors and NOT get frustrated when it isn't perfect. Surpisingly enough, you can get a lot done in 10 min.
The other quote was, "You can't organize clutter, you can only get rid of it" Clutter being anything that does not serve a useful purpose or promote a happy memory. I remembered a line from one of the other self-help books stacked on my shelf. "By refusing to share the things I do not need, I am being selfish and mean". I combined these two reminders and have donated TONS of useful stuff to Families in Crisis, where they will be used and appreciated. If I have more kids, I can buy more bottles. By the time I have another one, these might be damaged from the heat in the attic. I'm being selfish by not sharing what I no longer need.
Between Flylady and the maid, I will be organized and on my own in a month or so. By getting help, I can divert some of my energy to decluttering and doing home repairs. (See toilet article) I stay sane, others are blessed and my family enjoys a clean home. I won't do this forever, but it's a good way to get started. I'm less cranky and resentful towards my husband. I'm more content with myself and I am happy in my space.
So the moral of my story? Remember to share what you have and if you are really stressed? Get help until you can do it alone.