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Published on April 3, 2006 By lifehappens In Home & Family
I hate housework.

This is not to say I dislike it.

I really HATE cleaning. Toilets, tubs, floors, laundry. blech. I hate feeling like a maid. I hate feeling like I'm the only one who cleans up or does the distateful jobs around the house.

I also hate to live in a pigsty. I love when my home is clean and sparkling. I like to relax in a well organized home where things are put away and I can have people stop by without fear of embarassment.

These two attitudes don't mesh well. I have found myself bitter and angry towards my husband and his lack of help around the house. I felt the pressure of life on me and I hated it. I was cranky and grumpy.

So I decided that things HAD to change. Oh, I've tried to be positive about housework before and it degenerated into crankiness the first time something I cleaned got messed up again. I've worked on being organized, but my expansive efforts yeilded little progress.

So I decided to hire a maid. I have someone how will come in every other week and clean. She will do the ceiling fans and the baseboards, mop the floors and sanitize the toilets. All the things I hate are now taken care of. (at least twice a month) To afford this extravagant measure, I had to pick up a new client for personal training, but I think it's a fair tradeoff.

To my surprise, or maybe not so much. ..my pennypinching side came out again. I am not paying this woman to do the things that I can do or will do. i want to get the max value for her time here. So I started getting things picked up and put away. I wasn't cleaning, mind you. I was simply straightening up so she could do the dirty work.

Durring the two weeks I waited till her arrival, I got my house picked up. It looked clean (at first glance anyway) because there wasn't a bunch of junk everywhere. I wans't stressing out about the grimy bookshelves and the smeared windows, because someone was comeing to do that. I didn't stress about the icky toilets or the ring around the tub. Someone would do it for me. I could focus on everything else.

So instead of my old habit, which was to clean one area top to bottom by moving everything out of that room and messing up the rest of the house, I learned to do the big stuff first, before focusing on the detail work. And it's working! My house is clean!

The lady came and she and her asistant scrubbed the house top to bottom. They didn't get everything, but the things they didn't do (the tops of the ledge around the doors) they will get next week when the come again. I have managed to keep it clean too. It's easier to maintain than get there.

I also found a website. Flylady.com AMAZING. I'm finding that I can get the house clean much faster than I thought. by learning to relax on the details, I can clean everything every week. then I can focus on just one or 2 places in detail AFTER I get the basics down.

So anyway, on Flylady I picke dup a few quotes to hclp me change my attitude about the daily cleaning. She refers to the weekly cleaning as "Home Blessing Hour". Simply by refering to cleaning as blessing my family and home, I have changed my attitude from drudgery to service. And that makes a huge difference. She also recomends doing what you can for 10 min and then moving on. If you don't finish? Do it next time. So, I can spend 10 minutes cleaning windows and 10 more moping floors and NOT get frustrated when it isn't perfect. Surpisingly enough, you can get a lot done in 10 min.

The other quote was, "You can't organize clutter, you can only get rid of it" Clutter being anything that does not serve a useful purpose or promote a happy memory. I remembered a line from one of the other self-help books stacked on my shelf. "By refusing to share the things I do not need, I am being selfish and mean". I combined these two reminders and have donated TONS of useful stuff to Families in Crisis, where they will be used and appreciated. If I have more kids, I can buy more bottles. By the time I have another one, these might be damaged from the heat in the attic. I'm being selfish by not sharing what I no longer need.

Between Flylady and the maid, I will be organized and on my own in a month or so. By getting help, I can divert some of my energy to decluttering and doing home repairs. (See toilet article) I stay sane, others are blessed and my family enjoys a clean home. I won't do this forever, but it's a good way to get started. I'm less cranky and resentful towards my husband. I'm more content with myself and I am happy in my space.

So the moral of my story? Remember to share what you have and if you are really stressed? Get help until you can do it alone.

Comments
on Apr 03, 2006
What?!?!?! No comments? I bare my heart and soul and confess that I am a lazy bum who got a maid and nobody cares?!?!?!


Oh wait. Maybe you are off cleaning your house.....sorry.
on Apr 03, 2006
Wait, give us a chance!! Brilliant comments take time! But thanks for leaving the first comment so now I can use quote boxes.

I've tried to be positive about housework before and it degenerated into crankiness the first time something I cleaned got messed up again.
You put into words the very feeling that fuels my anger around here. I rule this household with an iron fist and a cleaning martyr's attitude. Then again, lately I've stopped cleaning. You can tell when I haven't cleaned the house in awhile: 1) It's a pigsty; and 2) My husband cleans it from top to bottom.

So I decided to hire a maid.

You're a lucky gal to have such a luxury. You've earned it!

on Apr 03, 2006
i don't like it when my house is too clean, not that it gets that way very often. but when the house is sparkly and fresh i don't want to get it messy, and so i avoid doing any hobbies or fun stuff with the kids. so a too clean house is stifling to my creativity. and we can't have that.

i understand your frustration. my husband spent the weekend cleaning the whole house (i haven't done much cleaning lately because of the morning sickness - none to be honest) then just tonight my 7 year old got done cleaning her hands on a napkin and tossed it over her shoulder and walked away. my jaw hit the floor. it can feel like a never-ending battle. why can't the kids help keep the house nice? why don'y the dishes and laundry stay done? sigh.

enjoy your maid.

on Apr 22, 2006

Sorry getting to this late.

I LOVE this article.

You are SMART to get a maid to do the parts you hate.  Can I steal this idea?  I had a live in maid several years ago, that was nice!  She cooked every night if I wanted her too.  Of course looking back, she probably didn't like my cooking!

 

on Apr 24, 2006
Yup I totally agree with the Home Blessing Hour part: cleaning up is something i've always done for my Mum and Dad, FOR them not because I HAD TO. It's a big difference. When I lived by myself I didnt clean up much cuz I always thought whatever it's just me living here. heh!
on Apr 25, 2006
What?!?!?! No comments? I bare my heart and soul and confess that I am a lazy bum who got a maid and nobody cares?!?!?!


Actually, I guess I read this a bit later than you posted, but outstanding article.

My wife and I both HATE house cleaning, and we both HATE living in a crappy house...exactly as you spelled out.

We're rethinking our attitudes thanks to this positive account.

Thanks