a place to put random discourses on life
Not what you think.
Published on November 12, 2006 By lifehappens In Home & Family
Part One: Mommy guilt and touching momment. (dont' worry we are getting to the sex)

So it's Saturday morning, I'm determined to get a handle on the housecleaning so I let my two kids watch Saturday morning cartoons and I head off to clean the kitchen.

As I walk through the living room to take the trash out, my son (curled up on the couch with a blanket) says, "Mom, will you cuddle me?" I hesitate and promise that I will after I finish my chores.

10 minutes later, as I am pulling the mop out, I hear his voice. "Mom, I am waiting really hard for you to cuddle me." Ouch, my poor kid just needs some love. he's really struggling with having his dad gone. Cleaning can wait. So we cuddle and watch cartoons.

After a few minutes, he looks up at me and says, "Mom, did you know cuddles are another workd for hugs?"

"Yeah sweetie, I do."



Part 2: You waited for it.....SEX.

I picked my son up from a friends house on Friday only to have the mom pull me aside. "Um, well, see the thing is.....i went in the room and asked them what they were playing. My daughter said they were playing house, but Connor. well, um, he said they were playing sex."

*Pause* "Oh really?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what to do so I said we don't say that word and that he should talk to you" So I went in her daughters room. They were huddled in a corner and my son was visibly upset as the older girl was drawing on his arm with a pink marker.

-break in the story here. First of all, IF A KID SAID THEY ARE PLAYING SEX, YOU DON'T PUT THEM IN A ROOM UNSUPERVISED! I don't care if they are 4 and 5. You still need to watch them. Secondly, Dont EVER tell a kid that it's bad to say sex or talk about sex....what happens if they are actually abused? They will think they can't talk about it. *grrr* ....and back to the tale.

So I get boy in the car. "What did you do today?"

"We played sex, but Lettakaye said we were playing house and her mommy said we can't call playing sex, "sex", we have to say we are playing house."

*deep breath for me....I hate when people mess with my kids ability to just tell what happened. "So how do you play sex?" (Very nonchalant so I don't freak him out. I'm not even sure he knows what sex is."

"I don't know. We just play sex."

So I play 20 questions....carefully, since I don't want to give the fun away.
"Do you stand on your hands?" No. *giggle*
"Do you have your clothes on or off?" On, duh.
"Do you tickle?" No
"Do you hug?" No
"Do you kiss?" No, ewww.

I'm getting the idea that all is not as it first appears.

"So how do you play sex?"

"Duh, mom. Lettakaye has a doctor kit."

Excuse me? "A doctor kit? What do you do with that?"

"We use bandaids and you know, mom. Dentists doctors do that too. We use doctor stuff to play sex."

"Where do you put the bandaids? "

"on my arm."

So, there is no worry that he is learning the facts of life yet. But how on earth did he get Playing Doctor=sex?? Who told him this? And what else are they telling him?!?!



And Last but not least: The Tale of the Rocking Horse:

As we walked through the craft bazaar, my daughter sat, eyes wide open in pure amazement. She was staring at the handcrafted wooden rocking horses. "Yee Haw, Mommy! Yee Haw!" She's bouncing in the stroller, trying desperately to get out so she can see the horses closer.

I gently reminded her that we can't touch things that don't belong to us when the older gentleman at the booth told her that she could ride them. With a bit of trepidation, I let her out. She sat perched on a horse that was too big for her. Her tiny feet couldn't reach the stirrups, but she was in heaven. "Yee Haw, Mommy! Yee Haw! Wheeee!" She couldn't rock it, but she enjoyed having him tap his foot to get it going.

5 mintues later, I knew that getting her off it was not going to be easy. I braced myself, but I had no idea how upset she was going to get when forced to leave her beloved "yee haw". She sobbed as though I broke her heart. Wails filled the hall as I sheepishly explained to passersby that she was okay, just upset. 10 minutes later, the last tear finally dried off her cheek.

Unfortunately, my friend wanted some jam and we turned a corner only to find ourselves in direct eye line with the rocking horses. "pease yee haw, mommy?" The line at the Amish Jams was pretty long so I figured one last ride wouldn't make much difference.

Watching her made me wish I had more money, but $90 for a toy is a lot. Even though her birthday and christmas are coming, I can't afford that much. She finally got the hang of rockiing and was going at a hard gallop. I haven't seen her this excited in a long time. Everyone was gathered around the booth and smiling at this cute, energetic little girl.

So I figured that it wouldn't hurt to ask. I explained to his wife that I didn't have that kind of money, but that I would like to barter, I'm a registered massage therapist and maybe we could work something out.

Amazingly enough, she agreed and to my surprise, she insisted that he carry the horse out to my car right there and then.

Talk about faith in human generosity. I initally offered 2x what the horse was worth in massages to sweeten the deal, but she didnt' even want to wait for "payment" and trusted me to call her this coming week.


So there you have it, cuddles, sex and a rocking horse. What a day!

"

Comments
on Nov 12, 2006
It's not so much that "sex = playing doctor" but "playing doctor = sex." Sometimes, the transitive property doesn't apply to word definitions... Link
on Nov 12, 2006
Pseudo~thanks.
on Nov 13, 2006
Let's hope he never tires of that kind of "sex".
on Sep 20, 2009

I was just wondering where you came up with the name "Lettakaye" that you used in you story about the cuddles, sex and rockinghorse.