a place to put random discourses on life
Published on September 18, 2007 By lifehappens In Humor
This is just a list to get you started....anybody else have another brilliant solution?

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water
down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using
the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to
use
a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't
move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the
duct tape.

Comments
on Sep 18, 2007
Great list. Ony one big problem, number 5.

See, that would just wake up everyone in town as I swore and beat the living daylights out of my alarm clock.

Like when they invented the rolling alarm clock that rolls away when you press snooze (available on thinkgeek.com., btw), my comment was (is): they better make that sucker out of titanium. Because WHEN I catch it (and I WILL catch it), it's likely to be with a Louisville Slugger.

Moral of this story: don't mess with Gid when he's sleepy!
on Sep 18, 2007

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Moral of this story: don't mess with Gid when he's sleepy!


OOOOOKAY ! But be careful if you step into a porta-potty !

anybody else have another brilliant solution?


Yeah...when you have a problem...call my girl and let her give you a simple fix.
on Oct 02, 2007
Like when they invented the rolling alarm clock that rolls away when you press snooze (available on thinkgeek.com., btw), my comment was (is): they better make that sucker out of titanium. Because WHEN I catch it (and I WILL catch it), it's likely to be with a Louisville Slugger.


LOL, I think I would get 'one time' use out it as well.

For those unfamiliar here's the link. Watch the YouTube video on that page.

WWW Link
on Oct 02, 2007
Like when they invented the rolling alarm clock that rolls away when you press snooze


That looks to be pure evil. Death to small, noisy thing!

~Zoo
on Oct 08, 2007
Hah! I sent this to my husband who pees in the sink. But we don't argue about toilet seat lids, he just finds it easier to pee in the sink at night rather than search for the toilet.
on Oct 08, 2007
Avoid being conquered by an alien civilization by not playing video games.

Wash your dishes before you eat to avoid long clean up times after meals.
on Oct 08, 2007
They make sense to me